We’ve got a hostage situation.
The evil crow, Edgar, has somehow gotten the hedgehog, Mr. Rigate standing on a pile of empty 2 deciliter cartons of cream and has put a noose with the other end tied to the above branch around poor Mr. Rigate’s neck.
“I demand 2 pieces of stale bread or Rigate hangs!” shouts Edgar his demands “And don’t get any ideas, this is one fragile pile of cartons!”
“We do not negotiate with terrorists!” barks Goldie the golden retriever
“Yeah, yeah, we don’t do that!” shout Rick the Raven, Mr. Roror the seagull and the other hedgehog Mr. Somerville like they were echoes of their collective soul.
“Well, so be it, bye-bye for Mr. Rigate then!” goes Edgar
“Wait, wait, ok, what if I offered you ONE piece of stale bread, that I think I will be able to find, how’s that?” Goldie takes a half step back.
“ONE piece of stale bread, hmm…ok Goldie, you’ve got ONE minute!”
Goldie is on the job, run Goldie, run!!
“Say, that’s a nice looking golden retriever…ess across the street->no, no, no...no time for that now, Mr. Rigate’s life depends on me!”
“But SAY, what an awesome fire hydrant, I just GOTTA take a p*ss!!->No time man, Rigate is dying over there…well, maybe just a small p*ss, I’ll come back later…”
“A postman too?! F*cking h*ll, you’ve gotta be kidding me!!”
Goldie resets his mind of all this and continues the chase of one, just ONE single piece of stale bread with the price tag on it that is the life of Mr. Rigate’s!
“There…no, not there…there, no, not there either…there, THERE! There lies a piece of…*sniffing*…yep, STALE bread, AWESOME!!”
Goldie grabs the bread, disregards the overwhelming urge to eat it himself, makes a 180 turn and starts running back to the hostage situation site!
“Please don’t hang me Edgar, I’ve got a wife…and possibly some kids too, I used to drink a LOT when I was younger!” Mr. Rigate cries out
“Begging is futile Rigate, it’s all about your buddy Goldie making it back here in 10 seconds…9, 8, 7…”
6, 5, 4, the clock is ticking, run Goldie, run!!
And Goldie runs, boy does he run, ignores all the fire hydrants->ignores all the female golden retrievers->ignores all the postmen->“Run!”
3, 2, 1…it’s gonna be close!!
“Bye-bye Rigate!” Edgar kicks the first carton from under Mr. Rigate…who is now one stretched out little hedgehog.
“I don’t think so!!” Goldie approaches the elevated situation from around the corner, makes a hhhuge 3 meter jump and kicks Edgar straight in the face with his left front paw and while still in the air makes a gravity-defying-magic-like 180 turn and kicks Edgar straight in the face with his right BACK paw too! Bang-bang!! Edgar has been neutralized…for now.
“Wet the wedgewog wovn!!!” they are shouting, what does that mean? “Wet the wedgewog wovn!!” I have no idea.
Misters Roror and Somerville let Mr. Rigate down and they stop shouting… it probably had something to do with that. This is one delicious piece of stale bread I tell you! Woof!
