Man, is it just me or has the temperature REALLY dropped like 10 degrees Celsius during those 3 hours we spent inside this club in the dead center of the nighttime Hellsinki, Finland.
I left a little early and am now walking by myself on this street called Aleksanterinkatu, "the street of the Alexander", and in a few seconds my brisk feet will take my slightly tipsy head pass the Helsinki Cathedral Church, which I’m sure will throw it’s dark & gloomy glance and it’s long finger of blame over me like a blanket of...something.
What is it with these colossal illuminated churches by night and their blaming fingers and their blankets and their glances, man!
Anyway, I was thinking about going to..."*Grrunch!*"...hmmm, I seem to have stepped on a rotten dude, what are the odds of that happening!
"God damn it, look where you are going mister, I was here only like 150 years before you ever came along!" Yells the corpse with my boot...sort of stuck in his rotten guts.
"Sorry Mr. Corpse..."
"Well, could you please remove your boot from my guts!"
"What...oh yes, yes, of course, sorry about that!"
I’m a bit amazed that a 150-year-old corpse is still in such a good form, or BAD form, ANY form! But then again, what do I know about anything.
Whatever happened to this guy? Oh well, I’ll probably never kno..."Hey mister, do you wanna hear what happened to me?" Mr. Corpse answers with a promise of an answer like if he just read my mind!
"I’d love to hear! Do you smoke Mr. Corpse?" I ask and offer him a cigarette
"Well, yes I do actually! I mean, what harm could it do now...he, heh, krrrh, *caugh*, *caugh*" Mr. Corpse starts killing himself in laughter...like he could do that either.
Mr. Corpse sits up. Very gently I place a cigarette in his mouth, light it up and sit down across him myself too as if we had an imaginary campfire in the middle.
"Ahhh, that’s what I’m talking about, I haven’t had one of these for a LONG time!" goes Mr. Corpse, takes another puff from the cigarette and begins with the story.
"See mister, I used to be a bit of a player back in the 50’s, that would be the EIGHTEEN 50’s of course, anyway, that playerism pretty much was what killed me...if that’s a real word, *playerism*...but you understand what I mean, don’t you mister?"
"Yes I do Mr. Player Corpse, please continue!"
"Jolly good. See, I used to work for this landowner who had a son who had a wife...a wife whom I might have sort of accidentally, you know...seduced...which obviously caused a slightly delicate situation once the landowner’s son unavoidably finally found out about us."
"So the landowner’s son killed you?"
"Well no, I mean yes, I mean, well...sort of, see it went like this: The landowner’s son obviously had no choice but to either murder me or to challenge me to a duel, which were both pretty poor options from his point of view: The first one would lead to my death, sure, but also to his dishonor, and the second one most likely to HIS death, since I was a genuine marksman in my time. So the landowner’s son had to improvise a bit in order not to get killed himself and to also re-gain his dignity at the same time" Mr. Corpse explains and continues "So the only real option for him was to arrange some sort of a fixed duel, right?"
"Right!" I find myself shouting a bit
"Ok, so the landowner’s son and I marched into this nearby forest alongside with our seconds, who had together picked the spot where the duel was to take place. The pistols that were used in the duels of our time where the kind of ones that could only be fired once and I was feeling pretty confident that the landowner’s son’s round would never leave his pistol. This was until I started hearing something from the around bushes and felt a sudden pain in my left side."
"Your leftside?"
"No. My left SIDE, like a part of a person’s body! Look...here, here is where I got shot" Mr. Corpse points at his left side with his gray finger "and here...and here...and here" Mr. Corpse has numerous gunshot wounds all around his body "Get the picture mister?"
"Those sons of b*tches!" I find myself jumping up to my feet and shouting quite loudly this time
"I thought so too" Mr. Corpse says in a much more calm fashion "I thought so too".
"So what now, Mr. Corpse? What are you gonna do?"
"Oh, just relax and take it night-by-night, you know!"
"Let me guess, the night is always the same, right?"
"Right, the night of October 31th".
